New Outlook

I am moving where my computer is set up later this week and I cant wait.  I wont be in the dark hallway anymore looking at a wall.  I will be in my nice sunny kitchen looking out a big window where I can watch my bird feeders and the field on that side of the house.  Sometimes deer run through there.

In about four weeks I should have enough stashed back to get myself a decent digital camera so I will be able to post pics on here. Yay!  Then I can post some before and after pics of the house and garden.  The house is a hundred and one this year. When we bought the place a divored man lived here and it had not been updated since the 70s.  The 70s style is not a good fit in a queen anne style cottage. 

Well thats it for today as I should already be in bed.  Mondays I get up at 4 am.

Looking Normal

Thursday night I had my hair cut for the first time since going through chemo.  It needed trimmed badly sine it wasnt growing in at an even rate and it was also coming in wavy.  My hair was always stick straight before.  Now when I am in public and some one sees me the first thought wont be "Cancer Patient"  I just look like a red head with a cut pixie cut.  Every day slowly getting back to being myself and feeling like myself. Now I need to find a new pic to put on here.  That one no longer looks like me and I would much rather be behind the camera than in front of it.  I hate having my pic taken.

Im Boring and A Bit of a Rant

For anyone who ever stunbles across my blog and read it, I am sorry. I read alot of other blogs and Im afraid mine is going to be boring at best. I really dont do anything but work and stay home these days. I am on the computer a good bit of my free time. I am on facebook everyday as it is the only way I have of keeping up with some people. I read alot of books. I will read almost anything but romance. I cant stand those. I am a magazine addict. I watch alot of TV. BOOORING!

Lack of money is a huge part of not doing much else. Doctor and hospital bills are huge with cancer treatments. I have 8 different doctors who all need paid and the hospital also. Even with insurance its alot of money. So I have no extra money to spend. I swear that my husband and I got into a one-up-manship fight over whos work shoes were in worst shape and needed to be replaced first. I really want to get a digital camera so I can post pics on here but that is a long way off. I really want to say I am not feeling sorry for myself cause Im not. Im just a bit aggravated at the lack of funds even though my husband and I are working our butts off. I also

hate being stuck inside all winter. I really do feel better when I can get out and work with my flowers and plants. Told you this was a bit of a rant. Im boring and bored and wanting to do something fun.

Day off and sleeping in

Today I slept in til 10. It was great. I get up at 4 on Mondays and at 5 the rest of the week so sleeping in til 7 or 8 is all I can do. I really needed the extra sleep and I really did sleep good and deep. Of course some credit must be given to the benedryl I took at bedtime. But still really good sleep is really good sleep. I wonder if that means Im getting old when a really good nights sleep makes me so happy. Or its just because I havent had a good nights sleep for a very loooong time. What ever it was, it was a great start to a very nice, no stress, day off from work:)

New Year Starting Over

This is my first post and its very scary to do this. I have kept journals for years but unless someone has been sneaking peeks at them, they were for my eyes only. I dont know which would be worse, someone reading what I write or no one. What ever . Here I am.

Starting this year just like I started 2010. I think that 2010 was cursed for me and 2011 is going to be better. I started off with the same old resolution that many people make of losing weight. I set up a plan for myself and stuck to it. By mid March i had lost 18 lbs. Thats when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Losing weight had lost its top priority spot. I had a double masectomy at the end of March and went through chemo through all of the summer. I ate wheatever I felt like and what ever tasted good to me at the time. I have never been a fast food eater but Mcdonalds 1/4 pounder with cheese, fries and a large tea was what I wanted after every chemo. By the time i finished radiation this fall I had gained my 18 lbs back. So I am starting over again.

So here I am trying to make changes in my life that are for my good. The weight is part of it so Ill feel better about myself. I also plan on doing some changes for my mental health. Number one on my list is that I will no longer bring work home with me. It will be done at work on the timeclock only. My time is no longer free. Its valuable to me so I am no longer giving it away.

I am also not going to let something thats bothering just simmer in my mind. If I dont like or dont agree with something being said or done I will speak up!

I am also decluttering. Clutter stresses me out. I like order. I read somewhere that you should imagine that youve lost everything in a fire. You only keep those things that you would replace.

Im sure everyone has things in storage that they dont even remember having.

Well this is it for my first post. I hope it gets better as I continue.